Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea by Chelsea Handler

By Chelsea Handler

Whilst Chelsea Handler must get a number of issues off her chest, she appeals to the next energy -- vodka. you are going to too for those who figured out that your boyfriend was once having an affair with a Peekapoo or in the event you needed to faux to be honeymooning along with your father that allows you to improve to top notch. Welcome to Chelsea's international -- a spot the place absurdity reigns very best and a short wit is the easiest defensive position.

In this hilarious, deliciously skewed assortment, Chelsea mines her earlier for tales approximately her family members, relationships, and occupation which are right away singular and ridiculous. even if she's convincing her third-grade category that she has been tapped to play Goldie Hawn's daughter within the sequel to Private Benjamin, finding out to be extra egalitarian by means of courting a redhead, or looking for a foulmouthed, rum-swilling little one that appears to be like similar to her...only smaller, Chelsea has a knack for purchasing herself into the main outrageous events. Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea showcases the candor and impossible to resist turns of word that experience made her one of many hottest voices in comedy at the present time.

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Sample text

My father, of course, was the only one up, and was sitting in the kitchen reading the paper. ” I wanted to scream at him and explain the magnitude of the situation. I wanted to tell him that there was a better chance of me shaving my head and walking to school with a dog collar and a leash around my neck than there was of me admitting I had lied. I walked out the door and it was a beautiful spring day. I had a feeling of hopefulness and excitement that I hadn’t had all year. For the first time, I was excited to go to school instead of dreading it the whole way there.

Hello,” I said. Susan came running to the door, carrying her seventy-two-month-old son on her hip. ” She was harried and it didn’t take long to figure out that she was completely unstable. “This is Kyle,” she said in baby talk as she introduced me to the kid she was holding like a baby kangaroo. ” she asked him as she took the pacifier out of his six-year-old mouth. “Hi,” he said shyly, and then nuzzled his head into Susan’s shoulder. ” James was her fourteen-year-old and I half expected him to be in a crib, but instead he was sitting on the living room floor playing Nintendo.

She asked him as she took the pacifier out of his six-year-old mouth. “Hi,” he said shyly, and then nuzzled his head into Susan’s shoulder. ” James was her fourteen-year-old and I half expected him to be in a crib, but instead he was sitting on the living room floor playing Nintendo. I sized him up and figured we were about the same size, although it looked like he had a bit more lean muscle mass than I did, which would give him the advantage if it came down to a tug-of-war. “He loves those video games,” she said, shaking her head.

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